Halsey - Control (Jay Aliyev Remix) [click for detail]

This song is quite deep while the remix gives it perfect pacing; one that is fit for the ensuing dissertation about inner demons, acceptance of one's anger, ownership of the resulting actions, and the evolution that takes place.

Many people struggle with anger management issues. I count myself amongst them.
Rather than placing blame on external forces, acceptance of yourself, and ownership of your actions, is crucial in taming your inner demons.

We are all capable of evil, but we are also capable of good. Both darkness and light exist within us.
Don't be the victim. Exert control.

Analysis:

This video starts with a slummed, dark, brooding body, waving in the wind, being pushed along by the currents of life, living in darkness. A body not dead, but lifeless -- one without control.

"The shadows and monsters

The hallways, they echoed and groaned

I sat alone, in bed till the morning"

Then we see waves after waves of arrows stabbing her back. This is symbolic of the harshness and unforgiving nature of life. People put you down, backstab you, and repeatedly hurt you. You can't fight it, just take it and suffer. You start blaming them, then blaming yourself.

"I'm crying, 'They're coming for me' 
And I tried to hold these secrets inside me
My mind's like a deadly disease" 

You try to cope with it. You hide your pain. You tell yourself you're strong -- stronger and meaner than the demons that surround you.

"I'm bigger than my body
I'm colder than this home
I'm meaner than my demons
I'm bigger than these bones"

But in the end, your anger shows. Your darkness shows. Your true nature is seen. People are scared of what they see. You see it, but you can't stop it. You tell yourself you don't care and accept that anger, that darkness. 

"And all the kids cried out, 'Please stop, you're scaring me' 
I can't help this awful energy
God damn right, you should be scared of me" 

After a while you ask yourself, "who is in control?" You, or your demons?

Your demons beg you to write them so they'll never die when [you're] dead. They want to take over you -- they want to define you...so when you die, people remember only your demons, not you.

The verse repeats. 

After a few iterations, you come to realize that this is all you. You've weathered the tarring and feathering of your being. Now, it's time to change.

In the video, cycles of darkness (oil), light (milk), and cleansing water, poured over you, hardening your skin. It then turns into diamond.

Not much changes from the outside, but inside, everything changes. You now own the narrative. You've accepted who you are. You've gained control. At this point, the story becomes your story, not your demons'.

"I've grown familiar with villains that live in my head

They beg me to write them so I'll never die when I'm dead"

In the end, we see that withering body still moving in the air, but now with more force and determination. The arrows stuck behind its back become part of a beautiful being. We no longer see a dead, lifeless body. Instead, we see a unique creature being reborn. Still weird and dark, but uniquely beautiful.

Conclusion:

Don't be the victim. Take control.

Things are always as they are. Bad things will happen, and good things will too. It's how you react, and respond to them, that defines your happiness, your life, your story.

Things are changing. Yet nothing changes. And still, there are changes.

Le roi est mort, Vive le roi!

*Side note: The above 1996 album from Enigma was the defining soundtrack of my life. In my opinion, it is one of the best albums ever made. I think I still have the original CD with translucent case and graphic insert somewhere in storage.

Lyrics:

They send me away to find them a fortune
A chest filled with diamonds and gold
The house was awake, the shadows and monsters
The hallways, they echoed and groaned
I sat alone, in bed till the morning
I'm crying, "They're coming for me"
And I tried to hold these secrets inside me
My mind's like a deadly disease
I'm bigger than my body
I'm colder than this home
I'm meaner than my demons
I'm bigger than these bones
And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me"
I can't help this awful energy
God damn right, you should be scared of me
Who is in control?
I'm well acquainted with villains that live in my bed
They beg me to write them so they'll never die when I'm dead
And I've grown familiar with villains that live in my head
They beg me to write them so I'll never die when I'm dead
I'm bigger than my body
I'm colder than this home
I'm meaner than my demons
I'm bigger than these bones
And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me"
I can't help this awful energy
God damn right, you should be scared of me
Who is in control?
And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me"
I can't help this awful energy
God damn right, you should be scared of me
Who is in control?